On a delightful afternoon several years ago, I found myself sitting comfortably with my back against a shaded slope, overlooking a small canyon I was preparing to explore. I was somewhere on Bally Flats, just west of Blanding, Utah. A barely discernible side road had beckoned to me as I drove curiously across the sagebrush and juniper encrusted landscape. Four-wheeling through a couple steep, rocky drainages, and around a sandstone abutment, brought me to within a few hundred yards of the spot I now inhabited.
I seem to be drawn to canyons; their hidden features inspire my imagination. For me, delving into their depths, geologic features, water sources and vegetation is a rich and awe inspiring experience. Being out among the boulders, rabbit brush and prickly pear awakens my senses and enriches my inner being. In these southeastern Utah canyons, I continue to search for, and often find, beauty, harmony and understanding; that oasis of the eye, mind and spirit.
The visible reaches of this particular canyon looked promising. I could hear the music of running water below, and the whisper of the breeze gently rustling full bodied leaves. Benevolent moisture and gnarly cottonwood trees always add to the appeal of these rifts in the desert. Looking closely at the nearby canyon rim, I noticed sandstone semi-spheres that seemed to have been captured in mid-boil, frozen in time, and accepting of encroaching lichen and accumulating blackening patina. A few scattered bonsai juniper trees had clawed their way into unwilling fissures; shaped by nature's gentle, persistent hand.
A red tail hawk grasped a dead, exposed branch of a centuries-old juniper just across the canyon from where I reclined. The raptor cautiously eyed me, realizing I was an intruder in this otherwise undisturbed land. The majestic bird perched on the bent, twisted tree. The juniper, with its sand blasted and sun baked topknot, and dusty, emerald green body, brought to mind an ancient mentor; a Merlin-like wizard, prepared to educate any interested initiate. I wondered if we, as human beings, could manage the multi-dimensional thought and understanding to absorb his wisdom before it was too late.
It was early evening by this time, and the good earth cradled me comfortably. The temperature was pleasant there in the shade. I reached out and picked a white, orchid-like flower, inhaled its essence and tasted its freshness. I felt myself nodding sleepily, and found it difficult to hold open my eyelids. Just before I gave into the temptation to take a quick nap, I noticed a large black carpenter ant make its way across the toe of my boot. I smiled at the creature, thinking that ants are nature's perfect citizens. They are community-minded, bent on ensuring the well being of their hill and, most importantly, highly adaptive to the complexities of nature. I dozed off.
The white flower had somehow induced a mild dream-like state in me, and I found myself looking through the golden eyes of the red tailed hawk I had seen earlier. I could distinguish my sleeping form across the canyon from the tree I now perched in. I was amazed at how real this seemed. Taking advantage of the situation, I launched from the tree and felt the air rush about me; through the feathers of my wings. I gasped at the beauty of my surroundings. From high in the air, I gained a whole new perspective on the world around me.
I caught an updraft and rose even higher. The landscape spread below me, exposing a world of light, shadow and form that I could not have previously imagined. I drank in the wonder of this vast, rugged landscape, and marveled at its complexity and intoxicating magic. I spent time exploring the depths of marvelous canyons and the crowns of monolithic peaks. The journey was awe-inspiring and emotionally moving. I imagined this must be what it is like to open one's mind to new worlds of thought and imagination.
I felt a sharp pain shoot through the calf of my leg and jumped upward as I grabbed at it. My head banged against an exposed root, which produced an explosion of white light behind my eyes. As I rolled to my knees and stumbled to my feet, I realized I was back on earth, experiencing the wrath of an aggravated black ant. I shook the felon from my pant leg and resisted the urge to grind him into jelly with the sole of my Vasque . Through the pounding in my head, I heard the scream of a hawk. I looked up just in time to see him glide over me, wings outstretched, backlit by an outrageously brilliant sunset.
Making my way back to the truck, I wondered at what I had experienced. A flight of fantasy surely, but was there some hidden meaning? Maybe I should show a greater respect towards nature; take the time to appreciate what the natural world has to offer. Was there a fundamental truth buried in the occurrence; one that would take time to decipher? As I fingered the knot on my crown I was struck by an epiphany, maybe the message is really simple, "Don't fall asleep near an ant hill, always protect your head and be extremely cautious about nibbling unknown flora!"
Sincerely,
Barry
7 comments:
That flower you were smelling I believe is called Datura and it's supposed to have some sort of toxic effect. Our guide mentioned it on a rafting trip down the Juan River a couple of years ago. Am I correct? Or am I dreaming this?
I like your stories.
Best wishes to you all.
Do you realize how many people are going to be out roaming the Utah wilderness trying to find that little white flower now???????
That was quite a trip!
You should know that jimson weed/sacred datura has that effect! You aren't the first people who have discovered that the mind does weird things under the influence of that plant.
I AM JEALOUS.....THAT YOU CAN GO OUT YOUR BACK YARD AND HAVE A CANYON EXPERIENCE LIKE THAT!
SIGH!
THAT DATURA MUST HAVE A KNOCK-OUT PUNCH
.....NOT TO MENTION THE ANT.
I THINK THERE'S A BASKET THERE SOMEWHERE.
Hey Barry,
I'm not surprised at your "flight of fantasy," that white flower looks like datura. I know the roots are the strongest "drug" part of the plant (from reading Clan of the Cave Bear), but I wouldn't be surprised if the flowers were also capable of producing some strange states of mind.
Love your stories Barry...as I read I am there, experiencing with you, through you the beauty of that wonderful terrain. You see in it what Oz and I see in it and that is why we drive so many miles to experience the beauty of your area. How wonderful that yuo are not jaded by it. So often living in a great place one loses the excitement of it when first experienced. Love your letters...please keep at it.
really neat.
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